Long Story Short ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Evil Eye Doctor I went to my eye doctor yesterday to be shamed. My original intention was to get a prescription for new contact lenses. I had been wearing the same pair of two week disposables for almost two months (give or take a few months). When I told my eye doctor this he flipped his shit - you would have thought I was eating babies or something. He was all "OH MY GOD! YOUR DAYS OF WEARING CONTACT LENSES ARE OVER! YOU HAVE PERMANENT CORNEAL DAMAGE!!!!!" And other high-volumed ejaculations of utter crappola. I sat there in his stupid eye chair getting more and more nervous - was I going to go blind?? And then he checked my eyes and, oh wow imagine that, they're freaking FINE. He said it all disappointed-like too: "well, there's minor irritation but nothing permanent *sigh* You GOT LUCKY this time". Stupid dumbass. Of course I had stood him up twice before this appointment so that might have had something to do with his scare tactics. Anyway I won't do it again, I promise. I put in my new pair of contact lenses this morning and it was like a fog had been lifted. I've been peering through wrinkly protein-clouded pieces of plastic for months. I had to bring them back from the dead last week - I left them in their case soaking in saline but forgot to put the lid on and the fans were blowing like crazy. They dried out and got all crispy. So I soaked them for a few hours in saline until they were soft enough to put in my eyes. They stung and felt dry but survived until yesterday. When I took them out last night and chucked them across the room I said "good riddance" but also "thank you" because they had hung in there for so long. ____________________________________ I hate to keep harping on this but I am HATING my fucking birth control pills. I don't think I could be more irritable or ridiculous. I swear they are going to ruin my relationship. My mood swings are ridiculous; one minute I'm fine and all of a sudden I'm freaking out or making a face or just feeling generally uncomfortable in my skin. Last night was pretty bad, and this morning. I just want to scream. I'm tempted to just discontinue use but I think I can wait out two weeks. Professor K and I had a talk last night about the whole situation and he's being very understanding and knows he needs to be extra patient with me and try not to take things personally. But I feel so guilty about it. I am not a fun person to live with right now. Unless you're Bailey - the more irritable and moody I get the more time I want to spend with her. She's such a cutie pie and so warm and fuzzy. I love being around her. Awwww. Tiny bunny woof. Anyway, ARRRRGGGGGHHHHH about this whole thing. I do not feel like being touched, I do not feel romantic or horny 99% of the time, I just feel hot and frustrated and overly critical and disgusted by myself and everyone else. Please get me through this. Seriously. _______________________________________ My brother's wedding is slowly creeping up. My future sister-in-law's bridal shower is the 14th of August and I'll be driving down to New York with my mother, uncle and aunt. It should be fun. I'll get to meet the other bridesmaids. 9:29 a.m. - 2004-07-21 -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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