Long Story Short ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- honesty Yesterday I told Professor K that my ex is a girl. I think this is the first time I've been 100% honest with someone from the start. I'm doing it because he told me from the beginning that lying is the only thing he finds unforgiveable. I know that whatever I choose to lie about now will ultimately bite me in the ass. And...seriously...this guy might be The One. And you can't start out a lifelong relationship with lies. On Saturday I checked my cell phone messages while he was sitting next to me and my phone is jacked up so loud that you can basically hear every word. And she, the ex, had left a message to say she was sorry for the death of my aunt's sister, which was very nice of her. Professor K asked "who was that?" and I said "my friend" and made some sort of weird face. I have ZERO poker face around him, I was basically saying "ask me! ask me!" And he did. "What's up?" or something along those lines. "Can I tell you later?" This was my way of gathering time. It was early Saturday, we had the whole long day ahead of us and I didn't want to do anything to potentially ruin it. "Okay" He's so understanding. He could tell I would ultimately tell him, and he's the patient type. I would have been jumping up and down on the bed screaming "TELL ME! TELL ME!" cause I'm crazy like that. I just did that to him last night, but I'll get there... So the whole day passes, and he would occasionally mention the "thing with your friend that you're going to tell me" and I would smile. He's got a good memory, another thing I can't claim. We were out late and by the time we got home we were just sleepy and watched a little tv and went to bed. He didn't ask again, and I didn't want to talk at that exact moment. The last thing we did before we got home saturday night was watch Chasing Amy, and it just seemed a bit too appropriate. And it built the whole thing up in my head - will Professor K pull a Ben Affleck? Sunday was a lovely day, we slept late and then went to his house so we could start sopping up the flood that was in his basement apartment. I agreed to help because I knew I'd rather be with him doing something awful than by myself watching TV, or talking on the phone, or whatever I would normally do on a sunday. When we were driving over to his house he got all excited the closer we got to where he lives, pointing stuff out to me. And the funniest thing happened - he suddenly had this noticeable accent! He was dropping r's left and right, saying "ovah theyah" instead of "over there". And strangely I found it so amazingly cute and sexy. I was teasing him: "over where?" When we got to his house he put on a navy blue Red Sox hat and it was HOT. I had to stop wringing out towels to stare at him for a while. And the thing is, I know he's not supermodel hot or anything, he's solidly cute, but every time I see him he gets hotter and hotter. He wore this white sweater on Friday that just about killed me....but anyway... He lives in the basement of his grandparent's house. And he has a cute little kitchen and bedroom, with pictures and white christmas lights to make it homey. We sopped up water for a while, hurting our hands wringing out towels again and again. After a while his grandmother came down and was absolutely adorable and sweet. She invited us up for dinner, Professor K looked to me for an answer and I said "sure!" because I know how old people are about food. We went up for dinner and his grandfather was an adorable old man too, totally frail and getting a cold, but sweet and funny. We had a really nice dinner, the four of us, chatting about all sorts of things. And I could tell they liked me, we had a lot to talk about and our families are very similar. And then the greatest thing happened - his grandmother was telling me about her cat Sheba, this prissy Himalayan that apparently never comes downstairs when there is a stranger in the house. Professor K told me it took her two months to show herself when he first moved into the basement. But as dinner wound down I could hear rustling in the living room behind me, and then Sheba appeared in the kitchen. And walked right over to me, sniffed my extended hand, and sat next to me. She stared at me with her big blue eyes for quite a while, taking me in. Kevin's grandmother freaked out, going "she never does this! oh my god, she's looking right at you!" and I was trying to be all cool about it but inside i'm thinking "yes". Those are the kind of things that make people think you're perfect. Omens and such. I have to admit, I was thinking the same thing. That it was a sign. After dinner Professor K and I went back downstairs to sop up more water. I got bored quickly and it was getting late so I asked him to take me home. He went upstairs quickly to tell his grandparents and they told him that they loved me - "She has a good head on her shoulders". I was beaming, I love when I make a good impression. Especially when it counts. He drove me home and we held hands the whole way. We discussed the fact that we weren't going to see each other until Thursday, which sucks some serious ass. He told me he was going to miss me like crazy, and I agreed. The drive seemed to take five minutes and then there we were at my house again. He came up to see Bailey and to say goodbye, and it sucked. We cuddled on the couch for a minute, kissing each other, rubbing a very wiggly Bailey. We didn't really talk, we knew we were both thinking how much it sucked that he had to leave. He called me a few hours later, once on his drive up to Maine, then again when he was in bed going to sleep. The time when he was in bed was when he finally brought up the thing I was supposed to tell him. I got all nervous and admitted that I didn't know what he was going to say, but that I didn't think it was a big deal. He was just like "okay, tell me", so I did. I said something like "my ex....well....it's a girl, not a guy". Not articulate at all, but I was nervous. And he was like "okay honey". No freak out, really no reaction at all. It was like he knew already. So of course I freaked out. Not really, but asking a million questions - you don't care? are you upset? you seem so calm, why? did you know? He just said that I had mentioned that I experimented a lot in college, and he figured dating women was a way of experimenting so it had occurred to him that I might have done that. And he was totally fine with it. We talked about her for a bit, and he asked me if I would consider getting back with her. That was an easy question to answer: Never! Not in a million years! And I was honest with him about the fact that even though I was confident in the fact that she and I were over, I was not yet at a place where I could be 100% honest with her about that fact. He thought that was cool. I mean, that I was honest with him about the disparity between my feelings and what I would tell her to spare her feelings. So he knows one of my deep dark secrets. We talked some more and then he pulled an "I have something to tell you when I see you on Thursday", but like I said, that doesn't work with me. I just hammer away until I get what I want "WHAT IS IT?? TELL ME!!" And he's going "it's good, I swear, i just don't want to say it over the phone" and I'm like "YOU HAVE TO! TELL ME!" Cause I figured it was going to be "i love you" or something along those lines. And i was dying to hear it, so like an asshole I ruined his fantasy of being together, but oh well. He finally said "I don't want to scare you away, but I know that I'm really falling for you, fast and hard." Probably not those exact words, but very close. I was so happy to hear that, but I already knew. I just said "Me too! Me too!" and some other mushy stuff. I can't wait to see him on Thursday. So, in response to the silent questions, yes, we've discussed how fast things are moving, and how strongly we feel for each other after only two weeks. Yes, it's insane and totally random. But we're both like big goofy open books when we're together. Totally unable to conceal our thoughts and feelings. I hope this turns into what I think it's going to turn into.... 8:59 a.m. - 2004-04-05 -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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