Long Story Short ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- love, or something like it I'm concerned that my diary will become very dull now that I'm all goofy with love and domesticity. How do I turn last night into a fun story? I napped when I got home from the day of mourning, Professor K came over and held me on the couch while we watched a movie and new South Park. I had a great time, but it's just not interesting. I'm not sure what boundaries I'm comfortable with when it comes to writing about our physical life, either. I'll figure it out and delete whatever seems out of line. We did finally sleep together last weekend. We waited until Saturday morning and it was totally worth it. We had had a really fun night Friday with my friends and then came home and had more fun by ourselves. Sleeping next to him is so amazing, when he's over it's just like "let's go to bed, sweetie". It feels so natural. When he can't stay over, like on the weeknights, I feel sad when he leaves. And the bed feels all big and cold. Anyway, Saturday morning. Having sex with him was fun and sweet. I love him best when his face is so close to mine that I can only see a few inches of it at a time - his left eye, his upper lip, his chin. His eyes are so brown and so expressive, with really long eyelashes. I tell him "i love your eyelashes" and he'll put his face next to my cheek and flutter them, so they tickle me. We spent all morning in bed together playing and talking, and it was right after the third round that we agreed that we were now boyfriend and girlfriend. Ah, so nice. Then we took a shower together. I washed his hair for him. *smile* The funny thing about our relationship is that even though we have started having sex, we don't do it all the time. Like when we're together we enjoy the cuddling and the talking so much that we don't just jump into bed every chance we get. We're still so new it's nice to grow the feelings along with the physical. Is this weird? I have no idea, but I'm feeling pretty thrilled with the whole thing. Last night he brought me a present. Sort of a present. He had mentioned last week that he loves when girls wear his clothes, and I am a HUGE clothes-borrower (read: stealer). Most of my favorite items of clothing are somebody else's. So when he said that I got all excited. Then with the sad news on Sunday I was feeling lonely and wanted physical comfort from him, but knew I couldn't let him come over. So Monday I asked him to give me one of his sweatshirts so I could wear it and be comforted when he wasn't around. And he loved that, and brought one over last night. It's huge and sage green, and soft from washing. He sprayed it with his cologne so it smells like him, and I have already fallen in love with it. And get this - it's his favorite sweatshirt! I love that he gave me something that actually means something to him. Last night when he had to leave around 11 I was so happy I had it. I threw it on after he left and wrapped myself in his smell. It was so yummy. Then he called to tell me he was home safe and when I told him I was wearing it he was really pleased. This is one of the things I love about our relationship. Normally I would keep all my sappy girl feelings and actions to myself, but he responds so positively to my declarations of like that I am only encouraged to be even more sappy and girly. I miss him when he's not around. I miss him now, sitting at my desk at work. Today I am fixated on his wrists. They're so big, and tan (compared to my ultra-fair skin) and have dark hairs on them. I love them. I tell him this. And he picks out the best dress shirts to wear to work. He comes over after work wearing dark blue, white, and last night burgundy. It looks so good with his coloring that I have to jump on him and rub his shirt and tell him how good he looks. He says "really?" like he can't believe i'm serious, but I am so completely serious. I am falling in love. What else could it be? Every time I see him he gets better and better looking. We are endearment-crazed, calling each other every cutie-pie name in the book. Last night he called me "babydoll" and "honey". I call him "sweetie" and "baby". He signs his emails "your Professor K". I could quit my job and spend hours next to him, just breathing. 9:11 a.m. - 2004-04-01 -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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