Long Story Short
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Keep On Keeping On
What did you do over the weekend?
Got stuck in traffic heading north; ate dinner at a great restaurant in Portsmouth, NH and enjoyed possibly the best bottle of wine I�ve ever had; wandered around York, Maine and bought $11 worth of candy and $30 worth of Maine-oriented baby clothes for a certain New York baby that I know; ate a lobster the size of Bailey, immediately followed by three scoops of delicious Maine ice cream; dipped my feet in the freezing cold ocean and enjoyed a swing set after dark; ate corned beef hash at the Purple Palace; got stuck in traffic heading south.
What did you last cook?
Normally this would be an easy question to answer but because I was away all weekend I haven�t cooked since sometime last week. Actually last week I ate dinner at other peoples� houses on three occasions and ate leftovers the other two nights so...jebus, I haven�t cooked in a really long time. Wait, does heating up frozen chicken tenders count?
What is your salad dressing of choice?
If it�s store-bought then Jalapeno Ranch from Whole Foods - that�s the only store that sells it as far as I can tell. I usually make my own, though.
What is your favorite restaurant?
Casa de Pedro in Watertown is a big favorite, as is Cafe Sol Azteca in Newton - um, guacamole?. But there are a million places that I love and trying new places is kind of a favorite in itself.
What is your favorite ice cream place?
For actual ice cream I like the Bedford Creamery in, where else, Bedford, and Brown�s Ice Cream in York, Maine lived up to my high expectations. But since my favorite ice cream is soft serve I�d have to go with either Celebrity in Watertown or Dairy Queen in Anywhere There Is One.
What are your pizza toppings of choice?
Pepperoni, mushrooms, sausage, peppers, onions, broccoli, tomato, olives, etc. I like everything on a pizza, and really thin crust so all those toppings fall in your lap when you pick up a piece.
What is your favorite type of gum?
Orbit Orange Mint.
Number of contacts in your cell phone?
34, if I don�t count people twice for cell and home numbers.
If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
No, I think that would be creepy.
Is love for real?
I think so, at least for greeting card purposes.
If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
I�ve had my first name too long to consider changing it now. My father used to tease me about having to change my last name when I got married � his hypothetical last name was always either �Asshole� or �Bozo�. Obviously he had a premonition about the kind of guys I would end up dating.
Would you walk naked for a half mile down a public street for $100,000?
Yes. Hopefully I would get to pick the street � like, I wouldn�t want to walk down the street that I live on, or the one that I work on.
Would you kiss a member of the same sex for $100?
Yes.
Would you allow one of your little fingers to be cut off for $200,000?
Well, it would probably depend on how the finger would be cut off � like would it be painful and sudden, with a big axe and a tree stump? Or more surgical, with morphine and other good drugs?
Would you never blog again for $50,000?
Yes, probably. I only do surveys now anyway.
Would you pose naked in a magazine for $250,000?
Maybe � it would depend on the magazine, though. If it was National Geographic I�d be pissed. My hooters aren�t THAT droopy.
Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?
Maybe. I�d definitely be tempted. It might make for some burning anus, though.
Would you, without fear of punishment, take a human life for $1,000,000?
That�s a good question. It would probably depend on the person. If I knew they were some nice old man eating an ice cream cone then probably not, but maybe a bad person? By bad person of course I mean dog kicker.
Would you give up watching television for a year for $25,000?
No. It would be really hard, and I�d be concerned about violating the rules by accident. For instance, if I�m at a sports bar and there�s TV�s everywhere and I accidentally glance up at one, am I out the $25,000?
Is Napoleon Dynamite actually a good movie?
Meh. It always makes me feel kind of creepy, I can�t explain why.
Do you have hardwood or carpet in your house?
Hardwood.
Could you live with roommates?
I was never very good at it when it was The Thing To Do, and now I�m so used to having things my way that it would probably be one passive-aggressive fight after another.
Season?
I�m always very fond of the one I�m in, until the very end of winter when I�m ready to kill nice old men eating ice cream cones to see the sun again.
Where were you at 6 AM today?
In bed, vaguely aware that my alarm was about to go off.
Where were you at 9 AM?
At my desk in my office.
Where were you at noon?
At Whole Foods picking up lunch for me and a brownie for my boss.
Are there any friendships you regret losing?
No, not really. Most of them were lost on purpose, and I�ve never had anyone stop being friends with me that I still wanted to be close to.
Are there any relationships you regret losing?
No.
Are there any games you regret losing?
Not that I can think of � I don�t play a lot of games. I don�t like losing at bowling, though.
Are there any people you regret sleeping with?
Just that bastard that gave me the herp�OH! I mean, no.
What can you not wait to do?
I�m with Melissa � go home!
What's the last movie you saw?
I rented a few two weeks ago, the last of which was the Reno 911 movie. I larfed.
Are you a friendly person?
Yes, for the most part. Although if you catch me early in the morning before caffeine I might cut you.
1:54 p.m. - 2007-08-15
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