Long Story Short
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More Critical Information
1)How do you like your grilled cheese?
Actually it kind of depends. Usually I�ll do traditional � white bread, white American cheese, bread buttered, golden brown on both sides. But I like to add tomato sometimes, or even a little ham. Although I guess at that point it is no longer a grilled cheese.
2) Where was your last vacation?
I don�t know if this counts but I spent a weekend in Plymouth at the end of July. Before that it was probably a trip to Port Washington. But this weekend I�m going to Maine to murder lobsters and punish my liver so woo!
3) Who are your godparents?
My great aunt Anne, and this random dude my parents happened to be friends with when I was born. They don�t really keep in touch with him anymore because he married a psycho and writes poorly-spelled Christmas letters about his cats. But in all the old pictures of him he�s double-fisting beers and giving the camera the finger, so maybe he was an appropriate choice anyway.
4) How long has it been since bought a new tooth brush?
My current toothbrush is one I got free courtesy of Delta Dental. It�s red. I started using it a few weeks ago.
5) Where are you at noon everyday?
Monday through Friday I�m at work, eagerly anticipating my lunch. Saturday and Sunday I am usually at my apartment � either on the deck or on the couch, depending on the weather.
6)How many speeding tickets have you gotten?
None. I have been pulled over for speeding a few times but no one has ever actually given me a ticket. I have to assume that now that I�ve recorded this information that I will get a speeding ticket on my way home from work.
7) Do tarot cards tell the truth?
I don�t know. I think a friend of mine read my cards when I was a teenager but I don�t remember anything that was said. Clearly it had a huge impact on me.
8) What was your favorite movie in Junior High?
I know I went mental for Legends of the Fall around that time � early Brad Pitt! And for some reason I�m no longer into Brad Pitt at all�I guess I shot my load at age 12.
9) What is the last thing you said out loud?
I don�t know. Wait, I mean, that�s not what I said, I just can�t remember what it was.
10) What do you think of the iPhone?
Hee!
11) What is the weirdest thing in your bedroom?
Dog food. Bailey is a weird little pup and she hides her dog food all over my bedroom, which is totally unnecessary since I move her food dish in my room at night. Maybe if I didn�t keep dirty clothes all over my floor this wouldn�t happen? Although then she�d probably hide it in my sheets and that would be far worse.
12) Where did you get the shirt you're wearing?
The creepy old lady Macy�s in Belmont.
13) Do you use a plan book?
Yes! I love planners SO MUCH that I used to play with them when I was a little kid. Um, in addition to doing other, more normal things of course.
14) At what age do you plan on having kids?
32 or sooner. It would be nice to have a helper in that endeavor but I�m determined to do it on my own if need be.
15) When was the last time you swam?
Saturday! I did a lot more drinking and floating than swimming, but whatev. I was submerged in beery (hee! I believe it was Amstel Light) chlorinated water so that counts, right?
16) What do you order at Subway?
Spicy Italian sub with every goddamn sauce and veggie they have.
17) Do you keep your closets organized?
Not at all. I even gained an extra closet a few months ago and I hardly use it. There could be dead bodies in the back and I wouldn�t know.
18) How do you make headaches go away?
I used to use Excedrin but lately it just makes me nauseous. So I�m trying Motrin and that seems to do okay.
19) Have you owned a betta before?
No, I had goldfish when I was little. Fish are fucked up pets and they poop little pointy things that look like pencil lead.
20) If you moved out of state, what state would you move to?
Probably one of the surrounding ones. I�ve done the far away thing and I think I�m all set with that.
21) How old is your best friend?
25 through 30. Well, actually I should say 5 too because Bailey and I are pretty tight. Except when she�s regurgitating turkey sausage all over my friend�s floor.
22) Did you attend preschool?
Is nursery school the same thing? I know I did that. I also went to Kindercare when I was a tiny tot, where my mother forced me to have my picture taken in a pig dress.
23) What do your shower curtains look like?
The liner is purple and the curtain is red fake suede from Target. I want a new one, though.
24) Did you have an imaginary friend as a child?
No I was popular with actual children. We had a pool, what can I say?
25) How do you make eggs?
Usually scrambled because that�s the easiest way to make them.
26) Where do you wash your clothes?
At the Laundromat a block from my house. I thought it would be awful but it�s actually kind of fun and quick. It takes so much less time than doing it at home because you can do five loads all at once and the dryers are super huge and industrial so it only takes a half hour to completely dry a load of towels. But don�t think I don�t hit up all my friends and family members to use their facilities when I get the chance.
27) Which parent do you look most like?
I asked Professor K this question once and he hemmed and hawed and said my dad. I have my mother�s eye and hair colors, but I got his face shape, height, and skin. Thank god I didn�t get his feet though � he has, hands down, the ugliest feet in the entire world. They�re always a sort of bluish purple color, the nails are hideous and yellow and one toe is always black from him smashing the hell out of it, and they just generally look so wrong. Wait, how did I get started on this topic?
28) Who are the neighbors who live to the right of you?
Crazy foreign people, apparently. A few weeks ago I arrived home from work and parked my car where I pretty much always park it and ran inside to get my dog. Just as we were starting our walk, and were standing on the sidewalk next to my car, this old lady in a babushka came out of that house holding giant hedge clippers and said, �You move car� in a heavy accent. I said I couldn�t right then because I had to walk my dog and she screamed, �BUT I HAFFA CUT BOOSHEES!� I almost laughed but instead told her that I�d be right back. I did move my car about ten minutes later and the next morning I found that she had chopped the living HELL out of the bushes in front of her yard, leaving all the leaves on the sidewalk.
29) What are your thoughts on Tom Cruise?
He�s short.
30) What is the next vehicle you wish to buy?
One that never, never needs maintenance, gas or oil changes. Where can I buy one of those?
31) Do you pay bills online or by mail?
I really enjoy writing checks so I pay them by mail.
32) What would be the best gift someone could get you right now?
Money is always appreciated, but booze will get you laid.
33) What is something stressful you will deal with next week?
I don�t have anything stressful in the planner yet but I�m sure I will by Monday.
34) What is something in your home that you collect?
I used to collect shot glasses but now I have SO MANY. What the hell do you do with hundreds of shot glasses?
35) How far north have you been?
Really really upstate New York. I think I humped Canada a little bit.
36) Where did you last get gas?
At a shell station near work.
37) How do you take your coffee?
Lots of cream, no sugar.
38) What is the oldest thing in your fridge?
Nothing really, I just cleaned it out. What prompted me to clean it out, though, was very recently eating a sandwich made with mayo that apparently expired in June of 2006.
39) On your keyboard what key is wearing out from pressing it so much?
Nothing yet.
40) Where do you put your keys when you come home?
On top of the bookcase across from the door � that�s also where I keep Bailey�s leash, a poop bag, an oil lamp, and pictures from my brother�s wedding.
41) Where do you go for Thanksgiving?
I go to my folk�s house. We have such a tiny family that I would feel guilty going elsewhere.
42) How old will you be in 2010?
30. Woo! The fun of being born in 1980 � besides being automatically awesome � is that my age corresponds to the year. Any year that ends in 0 means my age will also end in 0. I don�t have to do math!
43) What actor/actress would play you in a movie?
Someone super hot with nice jugs. Scarlett Johannsen?
44) How much cash is in your wallet?
$15 is crumpled in my purse � I don�t actually use a wallet.
45) Would you have a one night stand with your favorite movie star?
Of course.
46) What color is your house?
Tannish yellowy gold brown? With black trim.
47) If you were starving to death would you eat a pet?
Wow. Um�I guess I probably would if I was literally starving to death � I mean, people eat other people when that happens, right? But I would hope that Bailey was already dead because actually having to kill her would be tough.
48) Ever been to Alabama?
Several times, yes. I believe I�ve mentioned that Mobile smells like farts. And Tuscaloosa won�t serve alcohol AT ALL on Sundays, even in normal restaurants like TGI Fridays. One final fact: at their visitor centers they have giant plaques that read, �Alabama: We Dare Defend Our Rights�. Hee! I have pictures of me and Bailey grinning like idiots next to those bad boys.
49) What kind of accent do you have?
None that I�m aware of. I briefly picked up a Baltimoron accent in middle school but managed to shed it before I reached adulthood. Thank you Jebus.
50) What kind of alcoholic drink could you come up with in your fridge right now?
Coors Light, Vodka cran or vodka and grapefruit.
8:48 a.m. - 2007-08-10
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