Long Story Short
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Its Me, Bitches!
1. Are any of your toes on your foot connected?
No, I don�t have any physical deformities. Especially physical deformities that I want to openly discuss on the internet.
2. Which do you use more a pen or pencil?
PEN! I hate writing with pencil and it always chapped my hide that I couldn�t use pen in elementary school � Jesus, it was bad enough that we had to write on that huge-ass paper with a dotted line between the two solid lines. WTF elementary school?
3. Look at your planner for June 30th. What, if anything, do you have planned?
Well, that day already took place but my planner says, �Rent due. J&J�s cookout � Anytime after 1pm�.
3. Do you use toothpaste?
Yes I do, and my friends and coworkers greatly appreciate it. I prefer Crest Vanilla Mint.
4. What was the last thing you dreamed about?
Actually I had a bizarre dream last night that Melissa, Red, and Lola came to my parents� former house to have a slumber party in the basement. Oddly enough we all had to go to our respective workplaces in the morning so we were scrambling to shower and get out of the house on time by the end of my dream. Bad planning on our parts, I guess. Oh and I found all these severed heads in a trash bag in the bathroom while I was getting read for work�that was weird too.
6. What color is your bedroom carpet?
I don�t have a carpet in my bedroom, just hardwood floor. Lots of clothes on the floor, too. LOTS of clothes.
7. How many passengers does your car hold?
Four. But really only two, because the backseat is full of garbage and dog hair. I would seriously discourage someone who wanted to sit back there.
8. Have you ever had a black and white cat?
No.
9. What is your favorite canned soup?
Chunky brand New England Clam Chowder. I ate it a lot in college when I was hung-over and it�s still my go-to weekend hangover soup.
10. Do you know anyone who lives in Russia?
No. But my dad can say, �I�d rather be sailing� in Russian.
11. Did you ever go into a room and forget what you went
in there for?
Every.Single.Day
12. Who is the last baby that you held?
Madeleine the Cute! I hogged the crap out of her last week but she�s so smooshy and she *loves* her Auntie Carly.
13. Do you know all the words to The Star Spangled
Banner?
Sure do.
15. What kind of car were you driving 2 years ago?
Same one as now � VW Golf.
16. Pick one, having an STD or sharing a bed with Michael
Jackson?
Jesus, I�d WAY rather share a bed with Michael Jackson. I�m an adult woman so I�m I wouldn�t have to try to fend off his advances. However if the choices were having an STD or having Madeleine share a bed with Michael Jackson, I would definitely pick the STD.
17. Last time you went to the zoo?
Probably in New Orleans � I�d occasionally go to the Audubon Zoo and look at the white alligator. I think it died.
18. Do you have any wallpaper in your house?
Nope. But I had to think about it for a second.
19. Closest thing to you that is plaid?
I just did a thorough inspection of this room and there is absolutely nothing plaid in it.
20. I'm Ron Burgundy?
Isn�t that the character from Anchorman? I didn't really like that movie. It was kind of meh.
21. Who is the last person who wrote you a check?
Who wrote ME a check? There�s a nice turn of events. Umm�I think my grandmother, she gave me a check for my birthday sometime in late June. She forgot about my birthday but it�s okay cause she�s 86.
22. How many unframed pictures do you have in your house?
A gajillion. I�m always in search of new picture frames.
23. Last time you had a date that began with dinner and
ended with lunch?
That would have to be my second date with Professor K.
24. Have you ever applied for a job where the waitresses
wear shorty shorts and halters?
Yeah, no.
25. How many pairs of underwear do you have?
Maybe ten? I need tons more, I just never buy any.
26. Last time you received flowers?
One of my last days at my last job � Professor K sent them to me to celebrate.
27. Do you play with your hair?
Sometimes, which is one of the reasons that I usually wear my hair up at work. Nothing says �professional� like a woman twirling her hair in a meeting.
28. Do you take anything in your coffee?
Cream.
29. Do you have any marshmallows?
No I do not. I do not like the taste of hooves.
30. Who was your high school's most popular female?
My high school didn�t really work that way. We all had fun and got along pretty well.
31. Last person you told to f-off?
To their face? I have NO idea. I really don�t ever do that.
33. Would you like to learn to play the harp?
Sure, why not?
34. How many entryways are there into your living room?
Two, one from outside and one from inside.
35. Last thing you read?
I read Cloud Atlas last week and it was UHmazing, better than Ghostwritten even, and also A Thousand Spendid Suns which I thought was better than Kite Runner (if that�s possible) and it actually made me sob. Right now I�m re-reading Possible Side Effects because I love all of Augusten Burroughs� books and this is one I�ve read the least.
36. What was the last pageant you attended?
Probably some Christmas pageant when I was in school. I�ve never been to a beauty pageant.
37. What is the last place you bought pizza from?
Maybe Papa Ginos? I haven�t bought pizza in a really long time so I�m not sure.
38. Ever ride in a limo?
YES! WOO!
39. What is the last thing you stapled?
Some random work papers. But yesterday I had to staple my bra strap because Bad Things were about to happen.
40. Did you ever drink milk & Pepsi?
Seriously?
41. Are your feet ticklish?
Very. But in a bad, I�ll-kick-you-in-the-face-and-eat-your-liver kind of way.
42. Last time you saw fireworks?
Last week. I love me some Fourth of July.
43. Last time you had a Krispy Kreme doughnut?
Yes I have, thank you for asking. Actually the first KK I had was in Charlottesville, Virginia right before I began a summer humanities program at Washington and Lee University. I was very nervous and the donut did not sit well so my dad ate the other three, and the rest of mine.
44. Who is the last person that drove you somewhere?
My dad drove when we went to the supermarket together on Saturday to buy food and booze for my mother�s birthday.
45. Last time you parked under a carport?
I�m not sure that I ever have.
46. Do you have a black dog?
No, I have a brown dog. But I do have a sweatshirt from The Black Dog.
47. Do you have any A1 in your fridge?
I do � it�s the Bold & Spicy kind that has Tabasco sauce in it.
48. Are you a dominating person?
Huh. I don�t think so. I mean, I can definitely dominate a conversation but I wouldn�t define myself in general by using that word.
49. Who has the prettiest toes that you know of?
My mother � she actually has really pretty feet in general because they�re small, high-arched, and have cute little toes. Pretty much everyone else I know just has blah feet, myself included.
50. When is the last time you saw a transvestite?
They must have passed because I don�t think I�ve ever seen one, to my knowledge. OH WAIT! (can you tell this is stream of consciousness?) Professor K and I were at a Big Lots in SlackJaw, Maine a few years ago and there was a fetching gentleman wearing a pink velour sweat suit with long black tresses, who also had a disturbing amount of facial hair and no breasts. So�yeah, do with that information what you will.
2:46 p.m. - 2007-07-11
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