Long Story Short ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Weekend Stuff Yesterday I did something that made me feel pretty awesome. I wore size 10 jeans. Woo! Here is the part where I totally qualify that statement: they were size 10's from a few years ago, that I stretched out when I first starting climbing the scale. So admittedly they are a little roomier, perhaps, than fresh-off-the-rack size 10's. But...so what? The label had a 10 on it, which made me happy. My goal of being a real 10 by my birthday seems a lot more realistic now. My weekend was really fun and relaxing. The weather was, in a word, amazing. Saturday the Professor and I went out to breakfast and then to a sex shop to get me a new toy, a little addition to our normal routine that I�d been talking about, and we also picked up a new dvd. Saturday afternoon was lazy � I read outside on the deck, then inside on the couch. That evening, after I got back from my coffee date, the Professor and I got settled in the bedroom with a jumbo bottle of cabernet and our new DVD. That was the beginning of a totally awesome evening. In fact, the whole weekend was sextastic. Sunday was such a beautiful day that I spent most of the afternoon out on the deck reading, or walking with Bailey. TV, laundry, the phone, sex, then off to bed early. Coffee with my old high school alum went really went on Saturday. I felt nervous, like I was meeting a blind date, but the conversation flowed really well and we never ran out of things to talk about. We were together for about an hour. When we left we both agreed that it was fun and that we'd try to hang out again soon. Sunday morning I found a voice mail from my ex on our machine. She had called while I was getting coffee with Shelby the day before. I called her back around noon but didn't hear from her until maybe 3. The conversation that I had been sort of looking forward to ended up being far more awkward than the coffee with Shelby the day before. She was hiding things left and right, and basically left about a year of time unaccounted for. I tried to ask questions that would give me more information without sounding too personal, but that got me basically nowhere. Overall I got an impression of an immature, spoiled, petulant brat. She said things about how her parents have ruined her life so she doesn't talk to them anymore. That they made her move back to her hometown. That they made her give her cat away. Simon, the cat that we had gotten when we moved into our new apartment after junior year of college. She wasn�t very specific about where she left him, only that she hadn�t been �allowed� to bring him back with her. It was such a strange, awkward, frustrating conversation. I didn�t know how to react when she said things like, �I think my mom has cancer or something. But I don�t think it�s the terminal kind so whatever�. All this time I had assumed that drug and alcohol abuse were involved in her story, possibly rehab too, but that never came up. In fact within the first two minutes of the conversation she told me that she was laying out by a pool drinking beer with her friend. I was honestly really surprised � somehow it never occurred to me that she might still be up to her old tricks. I hurried to the end of the conversation because she kept going off on tangents about really random shit. She talked about her job a LOT but when I asked how long she�d been working there she said 2 days. Wuh? I didn�t ask what she�d been doing for the last year since I felt like it was kind of a big hanging question anyway. When it was over I went to talk to Professor K. He was kind enough to let me tell him about the conversation. He wasn�t at all surprised that she hadn�t told me anything real about her life. He said, �Did you think she was just going to spill her guts during the first conversation she has with you in two years?� I guess I had thought that. He�s convinced that she�s trying to hook me back in by doling out little bits of information over a long period of time. I love his theories because they always involve me in a starring role as prize pig. I don�t necessarily agree with him but at this point, after that conversation, I realize that I have no more insight into the situation than he does. I don�t any really good �sum it all up� things to write. I don�t think this is the last time I�ll ever hear from her but I also realize that she�ll never be a part of my life again. She and I are on two different paths now and that�s just the way it is. Frankly I couldn�t be happier to be ME in this situation, as opposed to being her. I know that makes me sound (Judgmental? Superior? Obnoxious?) not so great, but there it is anyway. 10:13 a.m. - 2006-05-01 -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
||||||