Long Story Short ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Worries and Too Much Coffee You know I really didn't mean to make it sound like I was comparing two people in my last entry. Like "she's this" and "he's that". I think I was just telling two different stories at once. One being the sudden reappearance of my always odd ex, the other being the awesomeness of my current relationship and the (hopefully) impending engagement. Neither of those things have anything to do with the other. Except that I'm worried. Right after I got the email from Exypants I told Professor K. And, like I said, he wasn't thrilled but he held in any sort of feelings he might have about the situation. And I held him and he slept, all night long. When my friend El called last night it was around 10:00 and we talked about the exypants thing but also our lives and I giggled a bit and had some fun. And I think Professor K probably woke up at some point and heard me on the phone and maybe thinks that I was talking to my ex, and not El. I don't know this for sure but I'm worried that that's what he thinks. This morning I talked to him a little bit but he wasn't too talkative and we were both tired and he left. This morning I emailed him - a Happy Anniverary email (it's the 27th) - and I haven't heard back. That's not totally unusual - sometimes he's too busy or he doesn't check his email. BUT. What if he's thinking that all it takes is one email from my ex and I'm out the door? That I was on the phone with her last night, giggling my ass off, while he slept alone? Ugh. I emailed my ex back this morning because goddammit I want to know what "AWFUL" things have happened to her in the last year. And the sooner I know the sooner I can get all this crap out of my system and move on. BUT, I don't want my relationship to suffer because I'm a curiosity whore. I wish Professor K would just say, "Goddammit, what the fuck?" rather than clenching his jaw and watching TV. I want to talk to him about it but he doesn't want to talk about it and then it's just this big elephant in the room. Gah. Stupid. But it's my past and I want to deal with it. Regardless of the fact that if it was HIS ex talking to HIM I would be very vocal about my opinion of her. But that's different, I guess. I don't know. Ramblypants. Too much coffee. Blah. 9:57 a.m. - 2006-04-27 -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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