Long Story Short

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Christmas spirit

Okay. Christmas is coming. And with it came Black Friday.

I'm not sure I was aware that it had an actual name other than Day After Thanksgiving When Nutty Folk Go To Malls At 4 A.M. And Stand In Line To Get Crap For Fifty Percent Off. And add to that, this year at least, And Get Their Asses Beaten So Hard Their Wigs Fall Off.

Did you see the clip of some mall in Someplace, U.S.A where a bunch of people were trampled in the mad dash to rush inside what appeared to be a Wal-Mart, and one of the trampled women had to shake herself off and then place her wig back on her head? That was just Too Awesome.

What a way to start of the biggest holiday in the Christian calendar. I'm sure Jesus would be totally proud of the bitchin way we've internalized his teachings.

Not that I'm religious or anything. But I sure as hell wouldn't beat the crap out of total strangers over potential Christmas presents. If your kids won't love you because you didn't buy them exactly what they wanted for Christmas then isn't that kind of your fault? I mean, for raising them to be spoiled assholes. It's definitely not your fault if you chose to sleep in the day after Thanksgiving and enjoy some actual time with your kids.

I laughed my ass off at the clips on TV, at the riots and screaming and beating. But it wasn't really that funny. When you think about what Christmas is supposed to be about, and then think about what it has become, it's just horribly depressing.

I myself suffer from rampant gift giving anxiety. Every year my excitement about Christmas goes hand in hand with guilt that I haven't put enough thought into my purchases as well as worry about my credit card debt. Is that what Christmas is about? I love opening presents and watching family members open things I've selected for them, but is that the worth the time spent beating people in malls and the January Holy Fucking Shit credit card bills?

I'm thinking we need to swing the Christmas pendulum back the other way. Maybe implement a mandatory gift age, kind of like Halloween and trick or treating. If you're old enough to drive, you're old enough to get a part time job and buy your own toys. But then that doesn't work because everyone just loves their kids and would still buy them gifts anyway.

Why are so many gifts just more expensive versions of items that people already own? I don't understand that. We own an X box. Should I be worried that Professor K will not love me if I do not try to find an available X box 360?

A coworker told me a story of Black Friday concerning an X box 360, I'm not sure if it was in the news or what. Apparently some woman stood in line at a store from early A.M. until the store opened, purchased her hard won Xbox 360, drove home, and was held up at gunpoint outside her home for the Xbox by someone who had followed her from the parking lot of the store. Merry Christmas!

I'm really looking forward to getting our tree this weekend, and we've put up several more decorations. I have purchased a few gifts online because I know I am the type of person who gets nauseous in crowded malls. I'm anticipating our first big snow and I'm hopeful that we will have a white Christmas. I love this time of year and all the trimmings and trappings and egg nog. Mmmmm. Egg nog.

I just wish it also meant everyone was nicer to each other. Not "here's some crap I wrapped just in case you gave me a gift", but more along the lines of smiling at strangers for no reason and letting people merge onto the highway. Simple courtesies.

Cause I got totally cut off this morning in the parking garage of all places which forced me to tailgate that fucker and then flip him the bird when he pulled into his parking space. And that is maybe not the right amount of holiday spirit that I was hoping to display. But he started it, so there.

10:31 a.m. - 2005-11-30

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