Long Story Short ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- KIT There are people who can pick up the phone and call someone and just talk to them for like hours. Even if they haven't seen that person in ages. They'll think, "Hey! I should call Susie!" and then they'll do that. The thought of that series of events paralyzes me. I am phobic when it comes to keeping in touch, to the point of alienating myself. I go through a quick phase where I get all gung ho about contacting old friends. Then I get overwhelmed and I shut down and hide for a long time. Something about old friends embarrasses me. I don't know why. I just don't want to think about old times. Using Friendster and MySpace is a strange thing for me because I am essentially always in touch. But people still get my vibe of being standoffish. I am totally standoffish. I have been called intimidating, cold, unapproachable. The sad part is that there are aspects of approachability that I would enjoy. Unfortunately the work is too much for me. I don't do small chat and sometimes I am just a total bitch. Not in an aggressive way, I just don't like to be bothered and that can come across. I wish I had a thicker skin and a larger tolerance for catching up conversation. Because I would have so many interesting friends instead of having so many used-to-be friends.
4:32 p.m. - 2005-09-19 -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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