Long Story Short ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- My Political Life In my political days I would campaign for up and coming candidates in new Orleans. By campaigning I mean stand on a street corner waving a sign and getting paid a hundred bucks for a few hours work. It was a popular career choice for college students who needed quick cash. One spring I was supporting an African American female candidate, which can be a struggle in a city such as new Orleans, and me and my ex got stuck in a particularly urban part of the city. And by urban I mean G.H.E.T.T.O. We were given bagged lunches and thrown out of a slow-moving van and told to stand on the corner across from the voting place and smile! We were paired with this semi-homeless drunk dude that was also waving a sign. It was relatively deserted on our corner and before long we got to talking with our partner, SHDD. Fishing through our bagged lunches we compared generic brand cheese curls and �ZAP!� colas. SHDD mentioned that he could use a beer and we heartily agreed. May is a hot, humid month in new Orleans and nothing cools you off faster than an icy cold beer. We handed him a wad of our parents� hard earned money and he rested his sign on the ground and took off for the nearby boarded up convenience store. While he was gone we commented on how nice he was and waved our signs enthusiastically at slowly passing jalopies. He returned with a brown paper bag and pulled out a six-pack of 16 oz miller lights, which were greeted with enthusiasm and popped, open. Now we were more neighborhood friendly, and much more refreshed. Plowing through the six-pack the three of us decided that now, what we really needed, was some weed. The ex and I lamented the stash that we had unwisely left at home, now at least a ten-minute drive away and us without a car. We explained to SHDD that we had papers and a lighter in the car but nothing else. �I can hook you up. Give me five minutes� SHDD took off again down the street and we were left buzzing and jubilant, holding our signs at half-mast. Again he returned quickly and we turned over our crates full of fliers so we would have a place to sit. We sat in a circle and rolled a nice, plump joint and lit it. It was such a beautiful, relaxing day sipping our ZAP! colas, passing around the joint, and chatting comfortably. Our signs were in the bushes behind us and when a car would pass we would just wave and smile, inexplicably. After about an hour and a half at our location the campaign van pulled up to our corner and the driver got out. �Oh my god, girls, I�m SO SORRY! We placed you in the wrong location, are you okay?� The ex and I looked at each other with glassy eyes and grinned. �Yeah, we�re great!� �Well get in the van, I�m going to take you uptown� We did what we were told, waving a heartfelt goodbye to SHDD who had now sadly been left alone. The car ride uptown was only about five minutes long and in that time we managed to tell the driver repeatedly how much fun we were having and how great campaigning was. He dropped us off at our new location, the one we were originally scheduled for, and it was a much more affluent street with grass on the median and big houses that white people lived in. A few other kids from our school were also stationed there and we chatted with them a bit but they turned out to be super gung-ho about the campaign and thus a turn off. After what felt like an eternity we decided to just sit on the grass and smoke a cigarette. We had no more beer and felt uncomfortable smoking the rest of the weed around the campaign enthusiasts, fearing that they would report us to the campaign manager and we wouldn�t get our $100. It was pretty miserable and time dragged. That night they held a campaign party at a downtown hotel for everyone who had participated. The plan was for the newly elected delegate to be giving her acceptance speech. Unfortunately there was a tie and a runoff was scheduled for a few weeks from then but the bar was cheap and there were hors d�oeuvres so it was still fun. There was a speech given by the campaign manager thanking us all for our help. Certain voting areas were recognized for the good work done in making voter numbers jump in support of our candidate. Rather surprisingly the ex and I were recognized for the record numbers that came up for our original voting location. Somehow, in the hour in a half that we and SHDD had been stationed there, people had voted in droves in support of our candidate. After our departure the numbers had dwindled back to normal. We were campaigning superstars! The people at our second location looked at us skeptically � we were the slackers who had laid on the grass in the shade and smoked cigarettes for the majority of our stint uptown. But clearly all our enthusiastic campaigning at the original location had worn us right out and made us unable to perform at maximum energy level as the afternoon wore on.
10:51 a.m. - 2004-12-08 -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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