Long Story Short ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- My neighborhood I just found out...STOP THE PRESSES...that there is a mountain lion roaming the streets of Acton!!!!! A "five to six foot" mountain lion. Mary's take on that was: "Time to bring in the kids and put out the husbands!" This from a woman with no husband. She must be bi-tter. I guess she has a number of friends that have shitty husbands - the kind that beat them and control them and take their money and expect dinner on the table. Those kind of husbands. Mary, as noted before, lives with her sister. And my neighbors on the left are a brother and sister couple, Paul and Oldilocks. Paul is, hopefully, mildly retarded. Otherwise he's just weird. Cause he seems to hide in the bushes and jump out when we get home for work or are leaving for work - a full armed wave and "HIIIIIIII CAAAAAARLY!!!!" Like a retard. We have begun to make fun of him in the privacy of our own home. Sunday morning we were having snuggle time and Professor K reminded me that on Friday we had been walking out the door together and I mentioned, loudly, that I wasn't wearing any underwear...and then immediately Paul jumped out of the bushes. It was really funny and stupid. Paul's sister is really old and annoying, in a "let me tell you how things are" kind of way. I've only had one run-in with her but it's enough to keep me away. One day she had to knock on our door because my car was blocking her driveway. She interupted some almost-sex and got the dog riled but once I found out what the problem was I felt really bad about it. I apologized profusely and explained that I had a bunch of heavy bags that I had had to bring in but I was just about to move it (after the sex). She's one of those old people that doesn't hear you plainly apologize and give an explanation, she still had to lecture me and go on and on about how winter is a-coming and I'm going to have to park my car off the street anyway and I should really park in the driveway and blah blah blah. I was super polite up to a point but then, after the umpteenth "well golly gee Oldilocks, I am truly sorry and it will never happen again" I just got into my car and shut the door while she was still talking. After I moved the car I ran into my house even as she was still talking, just as Paul jumped out the bushes. Freaking neighbors. We also have a halfway house for wheelchair people across the street. It's a nice big house with lots of ramps and 24-hour care for the residents. I haven't figured out how many patients/residents there are but they're all in wheelchairs and they all have those - what are they, illnesses? syndromes? - that make them talk strangely and their muscles twitch and move around. But the cool thing is they all like dogs so when Bailey is out and about we hear "DOGGIE!!!" about five hundred times. She's afraid of them but they don't know that. We wave and smile and Bailey cowers and runs back to the deck. 11:31 a.m. - 2004-11-09 -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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