Long Story Short ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- hooves Driving to work this morning I was sitting in the driver's seat, as I usually do, waiting at a red light. I was eager to turn left and pull into the parking lot next to Starbucks so I could hook myself up with a venti iced mocha with a shot of raspberry. Oh yeeeaaahhh...just the thing to get me all spastic for my 9am presentation. I'm sitting there listening to JAMN 94.5, which kind of sucks this week because Ramero is on vacation and his replacement, G Spin, is just clearly not as comfortable with the morning host slot. Pebbles and Melissa are their usual delightful selves but I miss Ramero! Suddenly I see something disturbing. A woman is walking across the road in front of me, obviously preparing to hop on the boss and head to work. She was dressed in a really nice blouse, light jewelry, hair done, and a knee-length black skirt. Pretty, casual, and professional; probably mid-30's in age. What had caught my attention was that I noticed she was walking funny. I looked at her feet. She was wearing the most hideously inappropriate shoes - four-inch or higher stilleto heels, straw base with a red and white floral design on the straps - think Hawaiian hooker - and they were obviously nearly impossible to walk in. She was clomping awkwardly, leaning forward, and moving ridiculously slowly - she held up traffic for a while when she tried to cross at a DON'T WALK sign. I just stared at her. I was completely hynotized by the awfulness of the whole thing. It was only 8am and she was already having trouble walking - I speculated that by the end of the day her feet would be broken and bleeding as she hobbled home, most likely in her bare feet. Also, what the hell was she thinking? She was wearing shoes that I would expect to see on the feet of a 16 year old stripper, or a tarty club chick on a Saturday night. Why would this woman get ready for work, put on a normal work outfit, and then add those shoes to the mix? I was at work later that day waiting in a conference room to go do my presentation. I was casually reading over my notes and sucking the last drops of mocha goodness out of my iced coffee. I kept hearing people walking by LOUDLY, clomping and shuffling like a herd of cattle. I started watching and noticed that 60 to 70% of the women that walked by were just like the woman I had seen earlier - dressed in normal work clothes with ridiculous "summer" shoes squeezed onto their hooves. They were older women with frumpy hair, large arses, saggy boobs, and these funny high-heeled teenager shoes. That were hard to walk in! And clearly not broken in! So my question to the female population is this: what the hell are you thinking? Are you suddenly considered fashion conscious if you slap on a pair of hard-to-walk-in shoes? Since when do grown women wear six inch heels to work? Is this a new trend or has this been going on for a long time? If so, why haven't I noticed it before? You know how many pair of shoes I own that I consider acceptable for work? Three. A pair of heeled black loafers, a pair of heeled brown loafers, and a pair of black flats. They are all extremely broken in, not cute at all, and fairly comfortable. Not New Balance comfortable but a far cry from six inch stilletos. Now does that mean there's something wrong with me? 4:30 p.m. - 2004-08-03 -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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