Long Story Short ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Mary Fucking Sucks How can I be venting again already? My fat fucking bitchass whore of a coworker, Mary motherfucking Busybody, sucks so much ass that her last name should be Hoover. She is hands down the most negative person I have ever met in my life. The most annoying, the most depressing, the most pathetic, the most ugly, the most obnoxious, the most nosey, the least valuable pile of crap that could loosely be defined as a human being. She regularly makes my life about as unpleasant as she can. And she LIKES me. She'll talk all damn day about personal things and the weather and her weekend and all that boring ass shit. She has no life. She's 56 years old, looks mid 60's, has never married, lives in Woburn with her sister who is ALSO in her 50s and has never married. Mary is a heavy drinker, goes out bar hopping by herself, and would kill to know all the personal details of the people around her. Just so she can spread fucking rumors about people and be the first to tell everyone else when someone has a tragedy or an embarrassing situation or any number of normal life events that never happen to Mary as life passes her right on by. She watches the news like a hawk and every morning reports on what she saw, like any other idiot on the planet couldn't turn on their fucking TV too. But she acts like she MADE the news, she's a goddamn news reporter. Except she's the most opinionated fucking news reporter on the planet. Every little juicy tidbit she picks up has her personal spin on it. I HATE working with this woman. She sucks the life right out of the office, making it scary and depressing. My two other Benefits office friends, who also hate her, have offices with doors they can shut. Mary and I share the same work space, our desks adjacent to each other. She talks to me a lot, especially on Fridays when she's happiest. Today I've been in a really good mood for the first time in what seems like ages. I felt silly and light-hearted and in love again, and I've been eating candy and doing my work and smiling. Because I sometimes really like being here and getting things done and having people smile and thank me. And this fucking bovine whore decides to ruin my mood at 4:05 on a Friday. WHY???? WHY would someone be so horrible? It's FRIDAY, we have less than an hour left...I just hate her soooooo much. SOOOOOO much. I just emailed my boss with a "I hate Mary" email because she hates her too and I may need to vent. Assuming she checks her email before she leaves for the day... The only good thing about this situation is that I know I won't be fired if God forbid I lose my shit and just go freaking insane on Mary's ass. But I have a feeling I am way out of my league when it comes to Mary - she's such a bitter old hag that I would imagine she knows far better than I do how to make someone feel like shit. But at the same time she's so scary and intimidating that she might be one of those people that no one ever steps to, and having some 20-something coworker rip her a new asshole might seriously disarm her for five minutes. I pity her, I really do. But it fucks me up working for her. I know that she cripples me at my job because she listens in to my phone conversations and then critiques the information I give people. She listens to me when I'm talking to employees but pretends she doesn't. She gets pissed off when I hand work off to her but then claims that nearly every single thing we do is something that she should exclusively be handling. So when I'm trying to do something on my own and I ask her a question she'll rush over to my desk, rip whatever it is I'm handling out of my hands, and say something along the lines of "I'M supposed to be getting this". Like all indignantly. What the fuck is wrong with this person? Who spawned this evil bride of nobody? I have cut her a whole lot of slack because nothing makes me pity someone more than having no one to love. No spouse, no significant other, no kids, no pets (she just put her dog to sleep a few weeks ago), nothing other than one pathetic sibling...that's just sad. She has probably spent a long time wanting things that she never got and is now bitter because she knows her lot in life. Sometimes you can cut someone too much slack. To the point that you're choking to death on rage. I hate that she did this to me right now. I am going to try my hardest to regain the mood that I have been in pretty much since I opened my eyes this morning. I refuse to go home in a bad mood AGAIN. Smellycowhogwhorebitchfuckfacestinkfootcrotchrot Okay, I'm starting to feel better. The pile of rage that was aching to spill out of my chest has subsided a bit. Thank fucking God for diaries. When I get really upset there is only one place for me to turn: my diary. And since I can't write longhand fast enough to alleviate rage properly, typing loudly and viciously is a great solution. FUCK YOU MARY I hope your weekend fucking blows, just like your whole sad pathetic existence. Everyone else: happy Friday! Have a great weekend! 4:17 p.m. - 2004-07-23 -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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