Long Story Short ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- cohabitation My lease is up in September. I can't wait! I love my apartment but I'm really excited to get a new one. I haven't lived in the same place two years in a row since high school and two years is definitely enough at this place. I'm looking forward to having new surroundings. And new neighbors. The Professor has brought up cohabitation again. We had shut those conversations down a few months ago, after a very honest "I'm not ready yet" discussion. He was the one that said he wasn't ready. I got my feelings hurt, which was stupid since I asked him and I wanted him to tell me the truth. But I'm glad he was honest. Now he's bringing it up again. I think he must be serious - our last discussion ended with the decision that we wouldn't talk about it anymore unless we were serious. He has made some effort to make it a reality - he is getting rid of his truck which will leave him with almost $1,000 extra in his bank account every month. Which will allow him to pay rent. He confessed last night that he's been looking at apartments in the area while he's at work. So as early as September we could be living together. I'm ready, I think. I've had my own space for two years, that's enough time right? And he spends almost every night over my house anyway. And when he was sick last week and I couldn't see him for five days it was the longest five days ever, it sucked. Still, there are doubts. What if we break up? What if I can't stand living with him? What if I realize a month into it that we jumped the gun and now there's no way out? I love him and I can't think of my future without him in it. So I should just go with my heart and my instincts and move in with him. Even my parents are hinting that they think it would be a good idea if I could "find someone to share the rent". They never say roommate because they know how I feel about that. They love P.K. and probably think he'd be a great person to share my life with. I agree. I don't want him to go home at night to a different house. And I miss him desperately when he's not around. He has most of his stuff over my house anyway. We have a kitten together. I sleep better when he's next to me, and I wake up easier and earlier for work. Honestly I can think of about 100 more reasons why I want to live with him than I can for why not. It's just hard to make a decision like that because you never know how it might turn out. Honestly if I had never lived with my ex I bet I wouldn't be this conflicted about the whole thing. I just remember how awful things got when everything was falling apart. Stupid. This is an entirely different relationship. I've known that from the first second I got into it. I need to stop being selfish and jumpy. I want this, I know I do. 9:34 a.m. - 2004-06-23 -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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