Long Story Short ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Brace for more sappy Guacamole - yum. Is there a more tasty food on the planet? The Whole Foods Market sells this amazing, spicy, garlicky guac and puffy, moist-ish tortilla chips. I am definitely going to have to stop on my way home tonight and pick some up. The craving has gotten out of control. It's the damn cafeteria's fault. Today was Taco Salad day. I really don't do taco salad - something about lettuce and sour cream together kind of skeeves me out. But the smell - mmmm...mexican is such an amazingly good binge food. I say binge meaning I like to stuff down food, not because i'm bulimic or anything. I would be a terrible bulimic - all binging, no purging. I just got the nicest e-mail from my soon-to-be sister-in-law.[My brother's fiance, silly, not Professor K's sister]. She's so great and someone that I feel like I would be friends even if we didn't have to be - that sounds bad, but if she's marrying my only brother, my only sibling, we pretty much have to get along. Luckily we do. We've been going back and forth with emails lately because she finally chose her bridesmaids dresses for her wedding. Not surprisingly I really like them. I'll be trying one on next Wednesday at a store near me (haha, coming soon! to a store near me!) - they're going to measure me too. I'm dreading that part. At first I entertained the idea of dragging Professor K along - what better way to aggravate a new boyfriend than to make him tell you you look hot in a bridesmaids dress? But now that I know about the measuring thing, no way! Not like he doesn't already know what my body looks like, but to have numbers associated with it... no thank you! Last night he and I were enjoying our last hour or so of alone time before he had to drive home, he was laying next to me with his face kind of buried in my hair and neck, his arm across my stomach. He was talking to me but in his muttery falling-asleep voice and he said something about how he was thinking about me last night and he realized that he never tells me that he thinks i'm beautiful. It struck me that he said that because I'd been getting kind of self-conscious lately. I had been thinking that when we first met he was very quick to compliment me on stuff. At least through e-mail, if not in person. And I love telling him how cute he is, how i like his shirt/hair/eyes/pants/shoes/hat - basically anything associated with him, I like. So lately I haven't been hearing much from him in the way of compliments and I've been craving some. So last night, since he brought it up, I asked him why he never told me and he said he didn't know. That was all. But maybe now he'll say it more. It would make me happy.... Another thing happened - I told him that I loved him. I was laying there next to him, feeling tragically sad that I would be apart from him for so long, and I just started getting this impending-explosion feeling in my chest. Like I had to get something out of me, now. I knew I wanted to tell him - I've known since Sunday night that I'm in love with him. I knew like a ton of bricks fell on my head and it totally overwhelmed me, but in a good way. He left late on Sunday night after a day of cozy togetherness, once the Easter meeting-of-his-family was over, and I had the strangest reaction to his absence. I CRIED. (And yes, I know i'm telling two stories at once but so what?) So after crying and feeling like I was suffering due to his absense, I realized "I am totally in love with him". I've known since then, I've seen him every single day since, and I haven't brought it up. Back to last night: We're laying there and I'm trying to figure out how to say it without, a) sounding overly dramatic, or b) underplaying it too much. So I rolled over and put my chin on his chest and looked at him. I kept randomly giggling because I wanted to say it so bad but couldn't. Then he opened his eyes, looked at me and smiled and kind of jokingly said "I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU" like a song. I said "are you kidding?" and he said "yes, but no I mean it" and I said "I love you too" and he closed his eyes and said "no you don't". And I said "Yes I do, I've known since Sunday and I had to tell you before I went away". He did a kind of groany thing, and mumbled something about "you made me wait all week?" and rolled his head back with his eyes closed. And I just kept my chin on his chest, looking at him, waiting.... And then he said "well, kiss me". So I did. DAMN, I felt this instant, intensely hot, Must.Have.Sex.NOW feeling. It was amazing, and really strong. And he felt it too, we were totally ripping at each other like crazed freshly-released prison inmates. It was great! Great great great... So he ended up staying quite a bit longer than he had planned. He didn't give a shit. The sex was great, and saying "I love you" to each other while being connected like that made my stomach do this little jig, in a really good way. I took a moment in my head to step back and think "wow, I am in love with this man, he is in love with me, and this is so right". It just felt like....heaven. But not overly-happy overly-perfect, just natural, right, and totally comfortable. I love him so much. How the hell did this happen? I mean, seriously, we met on the INTERNET. 2:30 p.m. - 2004-04-15 -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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