Long Story Short ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Water: Life's Miracle Cure Entry #2 Oh my god, I just discovered a cure for THE FUNK. Water! How is it possible that after spending part of last night and all of this morning in a horrible, negative, angsty mental state I just drank three bottles of water, back to back to back (yes I'll be visiting the bathroom frequently for the next few hours) I feel suddenly like the gray cloud over my head has parted. I feel good! I feel like I might actually smile! I have been eating the most horrible diet this past week. Carbs and sugar up the ass - some days just candy all day long. On Tuesday I had a fit of anxiety and ate an ice cream bar and a bag of Ruffles for lunch - what was I thinking? So...apparently I'm not pregnant after all, I was just dehydrated. Yes, of course I blamed my emotional attack on early pregnancy hormones - I have a tendency to do this. Pregnancy is way up there on my worst fears list, it's also the one thing I think can never happen to me - usually when I'm about to have sex. Oh, condom, what? Why would I need that? Ugh, I'm so irresponsible. Eating myself miserable, risking a baby that I am so not ready for, and disappointing myself by being pathetic. HAHA - okay, weird interaction just now. I work at a research lab, there are a lot, and i mean A LOT, of way-too-smart men (i know, sexist, but it's true) that work here that are just odd as hell. They wear birkenstocks with wool socks, pants pulled up to man-breasts, have long long ponytails and coke-bottle glasses....what is it about doing research that makes people ugly? In addition, a lot of them are not exactly social butterflys. We see more stutters, lazy eyes, snaggle-toothed mouths, and ear/nose hair than is normal. Or should be allowed in one building. But this guy comes into our office just now to pick up something - i have no idea what - but I have a basket of freebee crap on my desk that our benefit plan administrators send to us to give to our employees. Bandaids, chapstick, and phone cord extenders - these phone things are supposedly useful for hooking your lap top up in a hotel, but I don't know, they're cheap and they break the first time you pull the cords out. So this dude is hynotized by my basket. He peers into it like there might be gold or treasures in there, very slowly reaches his violently shaking hand into it, and pulls out one of these phone cord extenders. Slowly, ever so carefully, he brings it up to his face, closer and closer, until it's about two centimeters from his (surprise) coke bottle glasses. He stares at it with an open-mouthed expression of awe, rubbing it gently with his still-shaking hand, turning it over. I'm watching this whole thing from directly across from him, wondering if I should say something. He finally asks me what it is, I explain and tell him he's welcome to take it with him as they're free and intended to be used by employees. He gapes at me, "FREE???", and then continues to ogle the phone cord extender. I can tell he's trying to make a decision, he starts going "Hmm....i don't know....should i...hmmm.." Ultimately after much more rubbing and peering and shaking he decided that yes, he did think he would take it with him. What the fuck? 12:56 p.m. - 2004-04-08 -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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